Valentine's Day
by Tifereth Kantrishakrim
Summary: Maybe, if the emotion you felt was a happy one -- like love -- then the consequences wouldn't be as disastrous as you think."


Disclaimer: Do I really have to say it?

A/N: I realize this is coming a little late, but happy Valentine's Day to everyone anyway!

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Raven opened her eyes, waking herself from her meditation. She looked around her room, strangely suspicious, but all was as it should have been. The dark drapes that covered the window were shut, the books were arranged neatly on their shelves, and everything was in its place. There were no sudden sounds. The shadows in the corner did not stir. And yet, Raven could not help but feel uneasy.

She rose soundlessly from where she had been sitting cross-legged on the bed, walking over to the door and sliding it open. Blinking against the afternoon sunlight, she peered out into the hall – only to see everything quiet, not a living thing stirring in either direction. The only movement was the dust motes dancing in a beam of sunlight; but that did nothing to ease Raven's vague fears.

She stepped out of her room, allowing the door to hiss shut behind her, and started down the hall towards the Titans' main room, listening closely for any kind of noise. There was none; the tower, for once, was absolutely silent.

She padded quietly up to the electronic doors that led to the main room, beginning to feel distinctly nervous. She should have been hearing the screams and wild jubilations of Cyborg and Beast Boy long before she had come in sight of the doors. And yet, there she stood, afraid to open the steel panels – she had learned from painful personal experience that when Cyborg and Beast Boy _weren't_ playing video games, they were up to something far more embarrassing – and usually dangerous.

Steeling herself for the worst, Raven pushed open the door and stepped through into the main room, feeling her jaw drop as her eyes fell upon the once-somber walls. They had been utterly transformed, hung with more streamers, posters, and ribbons than she had known existed. Banners dangled from the ceiling and hung over the windows. Bows dangled on bright strings from lamps, cabinets, and any other protruding surface. But worse than that, much, much worse, was the color that blotted out every trace of carpet and plaster and made Raven's eyes burn. She closed them quickly, not bearing to look.

_I. Hate. Pink._

"Raven! Do you like my decorations?"

Raven opened her eyes for a moment, then shut them again, clenching her hand around the doorframe. "Terra. I should have known you were behind this. Do you have any particular reason for trying to blind me?"

"Come on, Raven, cheer up! It's Valentine's Day!" Beast Boy stumbled into the room from another door, carrying armfuls of pink and red things – presumably decorations. Raven was afraid to look for too long.

"Not again," she moaned softly. "Don't tell me it's that day _again_?"

"It's what day again?" Robin asked, coming up behind Raven and leaning against the doorframe. "Beast Boy? Terra? What are you up to now? What the –" His masked eyes widened as he caught sight of the transformed room over Raven's shoulder. "When did this happen? It isn't – my god, it can't be!"

"It is! What is wrong with you two? Valentine's day is wonderful!" Terra clapped her hands in delight, shooting a meaningful glance at Beast Boy, who grinned back. Robin groaned.

"Speak for yourself," Raven said tightly, through gritted teeth. "I, for one, do not enjoy having to watch everyone falling over themselves in a demeaning display of silly infatuation."

"'Infatuation'? Dude, you make it sound like a disease." Beast Boy shuddered, dumping the pink paraphernalia he carried onto the sofa.

"It is," Raven growled, opening her eyes again and wincing at the bright pink glare that suddenly attacked her senses. "Why did you put all of this stuff up, anyway?"

"We're having a party!" Beast Boy said exuberantly. "Isn't it great? It was Terra's idea! Eight' o'clock tonight! And make sure you bring a date, Raven!" He laughed.

Raven glared. Terra gazed back, her expression one of flawless innocence. "I knew you could be evil, Terra," Raven growled, "But this is cruel and unusual punishment."

"Punishment?" Starfire floated into the room after Beast Boy, bearing her own load of bright fluffy things. "Who is being punished? Has someone done something wrong?"

"No, Star," Robin assured her, a hint of laughter in his voice. "We were just discussing Terra's party, and we –"

"Ah, yes the party!" Starfire clapped her hands together happily, dropping a loathsome pink ribbon onto a disgruntled Beast Boy's head. "It will be most magnificent! I have never before seen this day of valentines, but Terra assures me it is very fun!"

"It's not my favorite holiday," Robin admitted, "But I'm sure you'll love it, Star. I'll – ah – just let you get on with your decorating, then."

Starfire swooped out of the room, returning a moment later with a box of what looked suspiciously like waffle irons. Reaching around Raven, Robin pressed the switch that activated the doors, making them hiss to a close. "It's okay, Raven," he said laughingly, prodding her shoulder. "You can open your eyes now."

She complied, glad to be looking at something other than the garishly bright pink of the main room. The darkness of the hallway folded in around her, and she turned to look at Robin, who was still grinning, his eyes utterly unreadable behind his mask.

"You don't like Valentine's Day?" she asked skeptically. "I imagined that the Boy Wonder'd have gaggles of girls lining up to give you paper hearts and ribbons."

He winced. "I do. That's why I don't like it. All that giggling is enough to drive me insane." He paused, raising an eyebrow at her. "I thought _you_ would have boys lining up to be your Valentine, Raven. You are beautiful, even if you don't admit it."

Raven stared at him, shocked and hurt, her eyes widening in surprise. "Don't kid with me, Robin," she snapped, more angrily than she'd meant to. "Not about something like that!" A square of carpet tore itself off the floor and ripped itself to threads in a flash of black magic. "I don't mind so much when Beast Boy makes fun of me, but –"

"No, Raven, wait!" Robin held up his hands to forestall her as a dangerous crack appeared in the door. "You don't understand!"

"What's there to understand?" she asked tersely, feeling betrayed. "You're making fun of me, Robin! Don't say things like that if you don't mean it –"

"But I _do_ mean it," Robin cut in hastily. "I'm not making fun of you, Raven, I swear. You really are beautiful."

Raven stared at him blankly for a moment, and then her expression softened. "Really?" she asked quietly. "You're not joking with me?"

"Of course not." Greatly daring, Robin reached out and took her hand. "Would I kid with you about something that would make you upset? You _are _beautiful, Raven. Fascinating." He smiled gently at her. "Pretty enough to break any boy's heart."

Raven shook her head vehemently, as though to clear it. "But I'm creepy," she protested. "You've said it before. I'm dark and creepy, I lock myself in my room all day, and I'm always snapping at you – I've been a horrible friend. There's no way any boy could like me."

Robin shook his head. "Raven, you're not creepy. You're dark, yes, but never creepy. Darkness isn't always evil or frightening. Sometimes it can be mysterious, captivating, or even enchanting." He squeezed her hand. "If you haven't had at least one boy kiss you by the end of the day, it's only because none of boys who have fallen in love with you are brave enough to ask." He paused, smiling slightly. "And you've been one of the best friends anyone could ask for – to the team, but most especially to me."

There was no reply.

The two of them stood like that, enfolded by the darkness of the hallway, undisturbed by the faint shouts and clatterings from the other side of the door. Raven raised her violet eyes to Robin's, trying to penetrate his mask and see what lay beneath, as he stared back, still holding her hand. Other than the screams of their teammates and the harsh sound of Raven's rapid breathing, all was still.

Suddenly there was a resounding crash from the main room, and the spell was broken. Robin quickly let go of Raven's hand, taking a step back as she blushed deeply, hiding herself within the shadows of her cloak. "Thank you, Robin," she muttered. "That was – very nice of you." There was a high-pitched scream from beyond the door. "You should probably go now. Starfire will be wanting to celebrate 'the day of valentines' with you."

Robin opened his mouth to reply, but Raven was already fleeing down the hall. He stared after her for a moment, then was forced to duck, raising his arm to protect his face as the lightbulb above his head shattered in a photographic flash of dark magic.

-

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath…….."

Raven paused in her meditation, allowing her voice to trail off into silence as she gazed out across the silent city. A cold wind whispered around the Titan's tower, chilling her as she levitated just above the edge of the roof. Despite the wind, she was glad she had come up here to escape her teammates; it was a glorious starlit night, the sky a deeper azure than she had ever seen it, the stars and moon blazing silver through a thin veil of cloud. Far below her, the golden lights of Jump City twinkled and gleamed, and faint whispers of sound carried to her by the wind echoed with the crashing of the waves upon the bay.

Sinking down to sit cross-legged on the edge of the roof, Raven reached deep into her cloak and pulled out her Titans communicator, flipping it open and reading the red numerals that flashed across the screen. 8:32 – and from what she had seen before she had come up here, Terra's Valentine's Day party was still going full force.

Not that she was surprised. Why should her teammates care if she was at their stupid party or not, as long as they were having a good time?

_You've been one of the best friends I could ever ask for – to the team, but most especially to me._

_Shut up._ Raven pushed Robin's voice to the back of her mind, firmly quashing the alien emotions it called up in her. She could not allow herself to feel anything – if she did, the results would be disastrous.

_Don't even think about it. We've been down that road before, and it's not someplace I want to go again._

She replaced her Titans communicator, resting her hands on her knees, shivering slightly as the wind howled around her, rustling her cloak and blowing a strand of blue hair into her face. Growling in annoyance, Raven brushed it away, closing her eyes with a sigh. She calmed her mind, imagining herself as the tranquil surface of a still lake, a drifting cloud, emotionless, thoughtless – just herself and the night, nothing more. There were no messy tears, no distracting joy or anger. She did not think, she did not feel – she just _was_. And all was at peace.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she whispered, feeling herself rise in the air. "Azarath …….Metrion ……Zinthos……"

There was a slight noise from behind her, the squeak of rubber soles on pavement. She clenched her hands into fists, her nails biting into her palms. "Hello, Robin," she said without turning around or even opening her eyes. She tried to speak in her usual monotone, but could not keep a hint of what might have been despair from her voice. "Shouldn't you be at the party?"

Robin ignored her. Instead he walked over to the edge of the roof, sitting down beside her and dangling his legs out into empty space. "I've been thinking," he said suddenly, looking out across the dark and silent bay.

"Wow. That's a good habit. You should keep it up," she drawled, still without opening her eyes. Robin seemed not to hear her sarcasm, gazing at the reflections of the stars in the dark water.

"Life's not fair."

Raven snorted. "Thank you, Robin, for that amazing insight," she said wryly, only half-joking. "I never would have guessed that. I've been kicked out of my own home by a Valentine's Day party. Don't talk to me about unfair."

"Raven, you're the most amazing person I know," he continued doggedly. "Intelligent, brave, loyal……….. and I know that you have a caring heart buried somewhere under all your darkness and sarcasm."

Raven finally opened her eyes, staring blankly at her team leader, who was still fiercely not looking at her. She was shocked – what was he saying? Why was he telling her these things all of the sudden? Was he……..

"I know you have a caring heart," he repeated. "And I hate whatever curse made you try to stifle it." He finally turned his head, looking straight into her violet eyes. "Raven, you out of all people deserve to be happy. You deserve to be able to laugh, to cry, to scream and be angry at the world if you want to. And I have never hated anything more than I hate the mistake of Fate that keeps you from doing just that."

"So what are you going to do about it?" Raven asked sharply, turning away from him. "Don't you think I want to be able to show emotion? Don't you think I hate my powers too? But I can't break free, Robin. I can't. I've been lucky so far – no one I care about has been hurt. But if I lose control – really lose control, and allow myself to feel – then I might not just hurt someone, Robin, I might end their life. I am the ultimate weapon. Endless destructive power that could be let loose at any moment." She laughed, a bitter, mirthless sound. "I can understand why Slade would want to get his hands on me. I'm just the thing he needs to destroy the world."

"Stop it, Raven!" he cried, standing up and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Stop talking about yourself that way. Don't say things like that – not today."

"Today! Robin, don't you understand? I hate today! Stupid Valentine's Day, when everyone's so mushy about love, spouting all kinds of garbage about happiness and – I can't take it! I can never have that, Robin. Never. I can't feel love. That intense an emotion, that _powerful_ – if I ever fell in love, I might destroy the entire city. So don't pretend like everything is okay between us, that I just don't like Valentine's Day because I don't have a boyfriend. Stop fooling yourself, Robin. Stop trying to fool me."

"Raven, listen to me," Robin said urgently, putting both hands on her shoulders and turning her around, staring deep into her violet eyes. "I've seen what happens when you lose control, however briefly. I've seen what your anger can do. But think about it. When you are angry, or sad, your powers break loose and destroy things – but never when you're happy. It's only when you're upset that your powers are destructive. Maybe – if the emotion you felt was a good one, a joyful one – maybe the consequences wouldn't be as terrible as you think they would."

"It wouldn't matter," she snapped. "Don't you get it? If I felt anything as strong as love, I might kill you, Robin, right here and right now!"

There was a moment's silence. "Won't you consider it, Raven?" he pleaded. "Couldn't you admit, even for a moment, that you might be able to feel without causing harm? When's the last time you were really happy? I won't believe that you've never loved anyone your whole life."

"Remember Malchior?" she snapped, trying to hurt him. She just wanted him to go away, dammit! Why did he have to tease her like this, show her a way out that would only end in pain? Damn him, with his eyes wide and caring behind his mask, his warm hands on her shoulders, and a creeping emotion deep in his voice – something that contained equal parts of sorrow and joy, with a tinge of desperation, and something else she could not place.

Robin winced, but did not release her shoulders. "And when you loved Malchior," he said, stumbling over the dragon's name, "when you truly loved him, Raven, your powers were in control. You were happy, and you could feel. Couldn't you let that happen again?"

"Easy for you to say," she snapped. "You said I'm pretty, Robin, but that doesn't mean there's anyone I love, and that doesn't mean there's anyone who loves me."

"Oh Raven, Raven, can't you see?" he asked softly, pleadingly. "So many times I've tried to tell you –"

"Tell me what, Robin? What is this about?"

"I can't help myself. Oh, Raven, I'm sorry, so sorry -" and he kissed her.

Black energy exploded outward from her body, whirling around them in a crackling storm as Raven stiffened, then relaxed, leaning into the kiss. The world had stopped, or exploded, or maybe disappeared altogether; neither of them knew, and neither of them particularly cared. Raven had never experienced anything like this before, even during the few brief, happy days with Malchior. Joy rose up in her, driving out all thoughts of destruction, doom, and the damage it would cause, driving out all thought until she knew nothing but Robin, Robin leaning so close to her, Robin telling her without words but with all of his heart that he would love her until the end of time.

The shadow magic gathered around Raven, lifting her up into the air, Robin alongside her. They were pulled apart as she rose, higher and higher, lifted by black light, her cloak billowing out around her like a pair of great dark wings. She suddenly found herself grasping Robin's hand, looking down into his masked eyes as the two of them hung in the air above the Tower roof.

"Fly with me?" she asked breathlessly, feeling the power and emotion she kept so carefully controlled break free – but there were no explosions, no terrible bolts of lightning, only a feeling of incredible peace as the magic broke free of Raven's control and surrounded her, lifting both her and Robin up into the endless reaches of the night sky and sweeping them away.

-

The sun rose slowly and gloriously, brightening the entire horizon, lifting the deep azure of night into a pale blue that heralded the coming dawn. Waves of rose-tinted light washed out over the bay, making the water gleam with a golden radiance, glinting off the distant city in a blaze of pale red fire. The sky spread wide and cloudless in all directions, ending a glorious night with the promise of a beautiful summer day.

Robin slowly opened his eyes, savoring the touch of a cool morning breeze against his skin. He wondered vaguely why he was lying on the roof of Titans tower, and why he could feel a solid warmth pressed up against him – then memory returned a rush, overwhelming him with wild sensations of flying, soaring into the endless night, held aloft by dark magic and with the girl he loved laughing at his side.

He looked down and saw Raven leaning against him, her head on his chest, slumbering peacefully, her cloak spread over her like a blanket. Was it just his imagination, or was the cloak paler than it had been – as though the blue was fading away, leaving pure white in its place?

"Raven," he murmured softly, gently shaking her by the shoulder. "Raven, wake up. It's morning."

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him, joy transforming her face from pretty to radiant. She smiled at him – the first smile he could ever remember her giving – and sat up, yawning, disentangling herself from the dark folds of her cloak.

For a while neither of them said anything, and they sat in silence watching the sunrise, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally Raven broke the silence, her voice tinged with some emotion he could not recognize, her manner suddenly shy.

"Why, Robin?" she asked softly. "Why me? You could have had any girl you wanted. You could have had Starfire all to yourself. So why did you come after me last night? Why did you – why did you –"

"Why did I kiss you?" he grinned. She nodded. "I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "I guess you always intrigued me a bit. My mentor was a detective, you know. I can't turn down a mystery or a challenge – and to me, you seemed to be both." he shrugged. "I could never understand you – but I could tell that deep down inside you, there was something I could relate to, something that would let you understand. You knew what I felt when I was chased by my demons, because you had your own. And the more I got to know you, little by little, the more it seemed I was thinking about you, wanting to know more. I couldn't get you out of my mind."

"But Starfire –"

"I liked Starfire for a long time, I'll admit it." he said quickly. "And I thought I loved her. But then, after Slade came back – I suddenly realized that the love I held for her was a different kind of love than the one that was growing in me for you. Starfire is just – too innocent. Too naïve. She's like the little sister that you want to defend because she doesn't know enough to defend herself. And after a while – I hate to admit it, but I started to get bored. Starfire just never seemed to understand what I was telling her, and didn't try to learn."

Raven nodded in understanding, still not completely recovered from the shock of discovering that Robin, the obsessed crime-fighter, the somber leader, the masked avenger, was in love with her. She had vaguely decided to simply listen to what he had to say and sort it all out later, after she had slept.

"I was right about one thing," Robin continued, taking Raven's hand in his own. "You broke free, didn't you? You let yourself feel – and it all turned out all right in the end."

"Better than all right," Raven agreed. "Thank you." She paused, then smiled slowly, as though she had forgotten how.

"You were right about two things. Valentine's Day isn't so bad after all."


End file.
